Tonight it was Ebaby's turn to say grace. She said her usual thank you for the food, mommy, daddy, sisters. Then she said, "Thank you that mommy wasn't so angry today."
Whoa.
"What do you mean, puppy?" (Yes, I call her puppy.)
"You've been so angry for a long time, mommy, but today you weren't so angry."
That stopped me cold. I have been angry. I have been depressed. I have most certainly not been myself. That's not to say I usually shoot sparkles out of my ass, but I'm usually not like this. I just didn't realize that she noticed.
Now I am angry, depressed and guilty. How has my anger/depression been affecting my kids? What have I done to them?
I have been resisting calling a shrink for the whole post-partum thing. I'm not sure why but that will be my first call in the morning.
Something's got to change and that something is me.
15 comments:
post partum depression is real and sometimes young mom's don't even realize they have it. You are at least realizing it , now that's the first step. You are taking the second step by calling the doctor in the morning so please don't add guilt onto all you have to deal with.
Your lil "puppy" ( so cute I love it) opened your eyes for you and you know she loves you to pieces otherwise she wouldn't have included you in her Thank you to God. See she knows and now look, all is going to be AOK so I think out of the mouth of babes is great in this case.
You haven't hurt our children, just a little set back but hell everyone gets those.
Smile keep your chin up and continue being the fantastic mom that you are!!!
Awww bless her little heart! I hope you go to that doctor, there's so much help out there and it starts with that first phone call. Big hugs to you!
Hope you are feeling your self again soon. I know how you feel and it sucks. Hang in there.
oh wow, that broke my own heart a little. you KNOW, I KNOW. Let me know how the appt. goes.
I hope things get better fast. PPD sucks sweaty donkey balls.
I hope that you start to feel better, but not so good that you're shooting sparkles out of your ass. That sounds unsanitary.
Dude. *sigh* Are we sharing a life? Seriously. We should talk.
In this case I think that out of the mouth of babes came with a wonderful conclusion.. you are reaching out for help.. much luck!
Dude. I totally know how this feels.
(((hugs)))
I so feel your pain...been there done that..and have even made the call myself because I wasn't "me"!! Although I don't have a child to tell me how angry/depressed I've been...everyone else in the world was tell me....Good luck..let me know how it goes! If you ever need to talk..I'm here!
oooohhh sweetie. what an eye-opener, eh? Kids are so smart. those are all great questions you posed, and please don't let the guilt get to you. I'm sure if you talk to someone, sparkles will be shooting out of your ass in no time. If you ever need to talk, email me and I'll send you my phone number.
I call Jojo "Puppy," too. lol. :)
Post-partum is real and vastly common. I went through it so badly that at one point I chased my hubby's truck down the street, jumped on the hood of his moving truck and begged him not to leave me (for the day.) I got help and I stopped hurting (emotionally) my family and myself. You are worth it. Make the call.
(((You)))
I hope you made the call. My cousin suffered from PPD and once she got help it was like night and day. Hugs to you!
I know how it is. And I resisted too, but for much longer. I wonder how much my kids noticed.
I call Alyssa "Monkey".
Oh, bless her little heart - and bless your little heart, too.
(*sniff*)
That was sweet, sad, and precious all at the same time...
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