Monday, June 16, 2008

One Of The Chosen

You may remember I was recently laid off. While on maternity leave. Yeah, it still burns my ass. So I am now collecting unemployment and looking at a dismal job market. I received a wonderful little missive from the unemployment office saying I was chosen to participate in an excellent program. "Chosen" meaning "you will do this or we will cut off your unemployment benefits". I feel so special.

Anyway, I had to go to this "seminar". The lady in charge said she knew our first question would be "Why do I have to do this?" Ya think? This program is for people who:

  • had been at their jobs for a long period of time (ok, 12 years, that's a good stretch)
  • may not have the skills to go to a new job (the software I used was specific to the industry so this applies also)
  • will probably max out their unemployment benefits before finding a new job (great)

Boy I feel confident now! This program offers job training and educational grants for careers that are in demand.

Not to be obnoxious but, I am really good at what I do. Really. The numbers and I get along. But...I am soooo bored with it. Now the question is, what do I want to be when I grow up? Crap, I thought I answered that already.

I was talking with a lawyer friend of mine today and she told me court reporting is in demand right now. I check out the unemployment web site. Court reporting is on the in demand list! There is a school about 30 miles from here! Unemployment will give a maximum grant of $4000! Court reporting school is $24,000!

Yeah, no go. No way in hell can we afford that right now. I have a kid going to college in a year.

The Big Guy says don't sweat it. Stay home, the kids need you, we can do it, blah blah blah. I know we can do it, we are pretty frugal people.

The problem is in my mind.

My mind wants to work. My mind finds satisfaction in getting paid for work. My mind needs to alter it's thinking. I will never find a job like my old one. I worked part time and made full time money. Nobody on God's green earth is going to give me what I was getting. I know being home and raising the kids is important. But my mother drummed into my sister and I to never rely on anyone else (specifically, a man and no, my parents are NOT divorced) to make the money. After years of indoctrination it is hard to counter that. It seems that every conversation I have had with the Big Guy the last few weeks has been him trying to convince me that staying home is a good thing. He's a peach, he really is.

I have no idea what the point of this post is. I thought I did when I started but not any more. That's reflective of my life right now so I guess it makes a weird kind of sense.


Mimi said...

I changed careers at 31 and would love to hook up another change (at 46)! Nothing like being 'chosen' for it though. Ugh! What was the runner up job on the list after court reporter?

Kellie said...

My craptastic assvice? Give it time. Something that's just right will turn up for you :)

Noelle said...

My next door neighbor is a court reporter, and sometimes she needs transcripts to be proofread.

If I loose the job I have now, I'm in the same boat, but without the kids.

Is there anything you can do from home? Like learn how to design websites or make something and sell it?

CPA Mom said...

what about day care in your home? or is it too small? man, that's a tough one. i'd go insane if i had to stay at home all day. we can brainstorm when I get up there!

Rachel said...

If you are not gonna be happy staying home, then you shouldn't. That unhappiness will just spill over to the Big Guy and the kids. Maybe you could find some part time work or volunteer work. Something to give you some adult interaction.

Tracey_iPost said...

I am going through the exact same thing right now. I am quitting (okay, so not the EXACT same thing, but) my tutoring business that I have had for 10 years and trying to decide what to do. I NEED to do something for my brain. But hubby says no go...stay home and eat bon bons.

Honi said...

hmmm I would see if there is something you can do from home .. and with the costs of a good daycare .. man I almost think you would be better off staying at home..and seeing about working from home if possible.. ASSHAT former employers of yours for putting you in this situation.. geez..

Kelly M said...

Wow, tough situation. Not that I am anyone to give advice, but I would say if you don't want to stay home don't. Because if you do you will not be happy at all...what about one of those work from home jobs? I see adds for them all the time. That way it's the best of both worlds, you can stay home with the kids and also do work when time permits? Just an idea...{HUGS}

womaninawindow said...

How about making crazy amounts of money while blogging, you know, from home. Just a thought...

Actually, it is time for reinvention. This can be exciting. Although, for me it involved throwing out a four year degree and international travel. I scoop ice-cream now. Seriously. Ice. Cream. and I don't even get to eat for free!

Karmyn R said...

I have to tell you that when my son was born and I decided to be a SAHM - it took a good 18 months for me to finally be "okay" with my decision.

It was tough to lose that feeling of independence and contribution. I was no longer making my own money and hated the feeling of having to rely on my husband for all the financial needs of the household...

but now it is 7 years later and I am so happy with the decision. We've had to make cuts and some sacrifices, but it has been worth it.

(oh - and my sister is in school for court reporting and her so-called 2 year program is turning into 3-1/2 years. It all depends on when you can reach that magic 225wpm level.)

Mrs. S said...

I am voluntarily unemployed but I just graduated from college & it's sometimes hard for me to stay at home - at least without homework to do.
I know it's really hard to stay at home and it's not for everyone. But try to think of this as a sort of vacation, like a teacher with summers off (although I do know they do so much in the summer, you know what I mean).