Tuesday, November 21, 2006


That word about sums up what I'm feeling right now. I'm not talking about full blown panic attack- just a constant low level anxious feeling. I gotta tell ya, I'm nervous about tomorrow's biopsy. I'm not overly concerned about the whole Molly Ignant thing. If it's cancer, I'll deal with that.

No, I'm having anxiety about the biopsy itself. I'm not really sure why. It's not the pain thing. I have a pretty high tolerance for pain. I once fell down the stairs at work & broke my leg. I sat there talking with a co-worker while I waited for the ambulance. Granted it wasn't a big break but still. I'm not sure how I'll do with a needle in the throat but other people do it so I can too. Right? You think I can do it, don't you?

My mom is bringing me (the Big Guy has to work, if he doesn't he won't get paid for Thursday & we need the money). I love my mother but (of course there's a but) she is very, umm, hyper. She thinks because she is over 60 that she has infinite wisdom. While I would agree that she can teach me some things, there are other things out there that she knows jack shit about. She could incite the pope to murder. As I am typing this my anxiety is increasing. I can actually feel it in my chest. Holy crap, my mother is the root of my anxiety and it only took 37 years to figure this out. Duh. Another thing, maybe two, she has a lead foot and thinks all drivers should yield to her, she weaves, she tailgates and she curses like a sailor. No- a sailor could take lessons from my mother. She does this all at the top of her lungs while flipping the bird.

Maybe I should take a cab. Anybody gonna be around tomorrow around 1:00? No, could you FedEx me a xanax or three?

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