Another thing to add to the list of things that are pretty damn depressing...
We had a discussion about money. Not the usual depressing discussion about money. No, a whole new depressing discussion about money. The discussion about how much money will I have if he dies and what will the bills be and how will I pay everything and what to do with the life insurance after paying house and van off.
Yeah, would rather argue over the cost of cleaning the carpets.
Showing posts with label sadness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sadness. Show all posts
Monday, November 22, 2010
Monday, November 08, 2010
Wanted: A Very Large Cardboard Box
Husband has cancer. Husband can no longer work. He started collecting state disability in mid-July. State disability can be collected for six months. If you are going to be disable longer than that you have to apply for federal Social Security disability. That takes 6 months for approval and first check. Husband has applied for SS disability and should get first check in February.
Sounds good, right?
If only.
State disability payments are based on your prior twelve months income. Husband was called back to work part time in March. Prior to that he was on unemployment for a year. Turns out unemployment checks don't count as income toward state disability. Husband got his last state disability check last week. Collecting disability put us $1200 under budget every month. Without it we are $2400 under budget every month. Between extended unemployment and the ridiculous medical bills we have just about zero savings now.
Let's see what miracles happen that get us through until February.
Sounds good, right?
If only.
State disability payments are based on your prior twelve months income. Husband was called back to work part time in March. Prior to that he was on unemployment for a year. Turns out unemployment checks don't count as income toward state disability. Husband got his last state disability check last week. Collecting disability put us $1200 under budget every month. Without it we are $2400 under budget every month. Between extended unemployment and the ridiculous medical bills we have just about zero savings now.
Let's see what miracles happen that get us through until February.
Friday, November 05, 2010
I'm Melting*
*Screeched in the manner of the Wicked Witch.
I had a mental meltdown today that manifested itself in rivers of tears. I guess I just had enough. I am exhausted with the aftermath. Instead of doing any of the myriad things I should be doing, I am going to bed.
Yes, Kellie, I am making you wait again.
I had a mental meltdown today that manifested itself in rivers of tears. I guess I just had enough. I am exhausted with the aftermath. Instead of doing any of the myriad things I should be doing, I am going to bed.
Yes, Kellie, I am making you wait again.
Wednesday, November 03, 2010
Bills
Hmmm...
If I pay this, then I can pay five other ones and get them out of the way.
If I pay this, I can only pay one other one.
I could transfer from the money market and pay everything. If I do that there will hardly be anything left in the money market and we will lose the extraordinary interest at a rate of 1%.
If I could find full time work...
If my husband didn't have cancer...
If...
If...
If...
If I pay this, then I can pay five other ones and get them out of the way.
If I pay this, I can only pay one other one.
I could transfer from the money market and pay everything. If I do that there will hardly be anything left in the money market and we will lose the extraordinary interest at a rate of 1%.
If I could find full time work...
If my husband didn't have cancer...
If...
If...
If...
Monday, June 28, 2010
The Hits Keep On Coming
So much for my "I'm really going to blog this time" post. Whatever.
I can't even remember what I have told you guys and I am far too lazy to go back and check.
Did I mention my new thyroid problem? No? Ok, remember a few years ago, the radioactive iodine treatment I had? No? Well, check the category "thyroid" and come back.
Back? Now my thyroid has stopped functioning. How did I figure this out? The thirty pound weight gain in 4 months had a little something to do with it. Plus my disgusting hair and skin. And my ridiculously long periods. Now we are trying to tweak the synthetic thyroid so I can resemble a human again.
Speaking of ridiculous periods, yes we were speaking of periods, roll with it ok. I went to have that checked to because when I say ridiculous, I mean really freakin out of control, ridiculous. Turns out I have some lovely fibroids and some cysts on my right ovary. My doc recommended an ablation. Know what that is? When they burn, yeah, burn the lining of your uterus. Sounds gross but at least I won't get a period any more.
My daughter's friend just read over my shoulder and would like me to announce that she is now here. You all needed to know that. Now piss off, Ang.
Where were we? Oh yeah, burning my uterus. I'm actually all for it but there is one other thing standing in my way.
The Big Guy has lung cancer. He refused to ask for a stage but when I went to the doctor today because I have a killer sinus infection, I explained everything to him and he said stage three. Big Guy has a tumor in his right bronchus that is blocking his airway by 90%. The cancer is also in his lymph nodes. When we went to the radioation oncologist before getting the lymph node results, I asked what the Guy's odds were. The doc said if it is just a localized tumor with no spreading and no lymph node involvement his chances of survival are 30%. If there was spreading or lymph node involvement the odds go down from there. I didn't bother to ask how much they go down, because they are pretty fucking poor odds so why bother?
I'm pretty much a mess but trying to hang in there. We are trying to keep things normal for the Littles. If you are a praying person, send some up for us, 'kay?
I can't even remember what I have told you guys and I am far too lazy to go back and check.
Did I mention my new thyroid problem? No? Ok, remember a few years ago, the radioactive iodine treatment I had? No? Well, check the category "thyroid" and come back.
Back? Now my thyroid has stopped functioning. How did I figure this out? The thirty pound weight gain in 4 months had a little something to do with it. Plus my disgusting hair and skin. And my ridiculously long periods. Now we are trying to tweak the synthetic thyroid so I can resemble a human again.
Speaking of ridiculous periods, yes we were speaking of periods, roll with it ok. I went to have that checked to because when I say ridiculous, I mean really freakin out of control, ridiculous. Turns out I have some lovely fibroids and some cysts on my right ovary. My doc recommended an ablation. Know what that is? When they burn, yeah, burn the lining of your uterus. Sounds gross but at least I won't get a period any more.
My daughter's friend just read over my shoulder and would like me to announce that she is now here. You all needed to know that. Now piss off, Ang.
Where were we? Oh yeah, burning my uterus. I'm actually all for it but there is one other thing standing in my way.
The Big Guy has lung cancer. He refused to ask for a stage but when I went to the doctor today because I have a killer sinus infection, I explained everything to him and he said stage three. Big Guy has a tumor in his right bronchus that is blocking his airway by 90%. The cancer is also in his lymph nodes. When we went to the radioation oncologist before getting the lymph node results, I asked what the Guy's odds were. The doc said if it is just a localized tumor with no spreading and no lymph node involvement his chances of survival are 30%. If there was spreading or lymph node involvement the odds go down from there. I didn't bother to ask how much they go down, because they are pretty fucking poor odds so why bother?
I'm pretty much a mess but trying to hang in there. We are trying to keep things normal for the Littles. If you are a praying person, send some up for us, 'kay?
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
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